


Happiness

by misamisa_stan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28744821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misamisa_stan/pseuds/misamisa_stan
Summary: Break ups are hard.  Breaking up with your best friend is especially hard.  Can Iwaizumi find happiness again?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 4





	Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Taylor Swift's happiness.

_Come pick up your shit_

Iwaizumi stared unblinking at the text on his phone for what felt like forever. He suddenly gripped his phone, hard, like he was going to throw it at the wall, but in a feat of willpower, he managed to set it down gently on his bed. He turned on his heel, stalking out of his bedroom door and hitting a sprint before he was even outside of his house. He wasn’t sure how long he was running for until he had to stop, hunched over with his hands on his knees and retching. 

After calming down as much as he could and catching his breath, Iwaizumi scanned his surroundings, dark silhouettes in the late evening light, and cursed. Of course he had run to the playground where the mess he was currently in really began. Or rather, the mess he was permanently exiting. 

Oikawa. 

He had taken him for granted in retrospect, not at first, but certainly at the end. Iwaizumi dimly wondered if Oikawa saw things that way, as he was the one to physically say the dreaded words first (although Iwaizumi would be lying if he said he hadn’t been wanting to say them for a long time). 

“What if we…” Oikawa had said calmly one fateful evening, though he looked at everything in his bedroom but Iwaizumi’s face, “…broke up?” 

Despite himself, Iwaizumi had smiled a little in that moment. He wasn’t smiling now, a month later. Iwaizumi didn’t know how he felt, but he knew that Oikawa felt terrible. His façade was impeccable as always to everyone else, of course, but Oikawa couldn’t stop himself from releasing his rage on Iwaizumi every chance he got. 

Maybe Iwaizumi deserved it for breaking his most important promise; after all, forever had not come yet, and he decidedly was not in love with Oikawa anymore. 

But God, all this break-up shit was so confusing. They had been so happy once; so, so happy, happier than Iwaizumi had ever thought he could be. Happier than Iwaizumi knew he would ever feel again. He didn’t hate Oikawa, because he simply couldn’t, but he hated whatever horrible creature was possessing him right now. Oikawa had been so sure he would be fine after Iwaizumi, of this Iwaizumi was certain, that he hadn’t considered what might happen if he wasn’t fine after him. Now Oikawa wasn’t fine, and he wasn’t the Oikawa Iwaizumi knew so well. Iwaizumi shuddered in the warm summer air at the thought that Oikawa would never be Oikawa again. 

As he sat on the swings he once used to play on with Oikawa, the realization settled that Oikawa would never be his Oikawa again because Oikawa would never be his again. His mind went blank. Iwaizumi desperately tried to recall his mentality from the previous night, when he had been out laughing with friends at a bar, and Oikawa was barely an afterthought. Now Oikawa was all there was, and maybe Iwaizumi did hate him. Maybe if he saw him right now, he would punch him square in the face and leave him without a word. 

As though it were fated, Iwaizumi heard approaching footsteps at that exact moment, and he had the sinking feeling of recognition. 

The now-exes locked eyes for a moment before Iwaizumi looked away and Oikawa took his seat on a swing next to him. 

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa said quietly after forever had come and gone. 

Iwaizumi kept his gaze fixed on his feet. 

“I know I’ve been acting really horrible to you this past month,” Oikawa continued. “But I wasn’t ready to be just friends with you yet, and it killed me how quickly you got over us.” Silence stretched out once more. “I don’t know who I am without you,” Oikawa whispered into the dark. 

“You’ll find out in time,” Iwaizumi heard himself say. 

“I’m not in love with you anymore,” Oikawa replied, prayed aloud. 

“I know,” Iwaizumi answered. 

“I think we can be friends now….if you’d still want that.” 

Iwaizumi finally met Oikawa’s eyes, and for the first time in years, he noticed that the magnets that always drew their gaze to each other had stopped working. There truly was no love in Oikawa’s eyes, and he knew there was no love in his. 

Iwaizumi looked away, trying to avoid the numb feeling that looking at Oikawa gave him now. “I think I’d like that. You were an asshole though.” 

Oikawa barked out a sharp, humorless laugh. 

“I was. I’m sorry. It’s not an excuse, but it just killed me to see you happy when I wasn’t.” 

“Well what was I supposed to do?” Iwaizumi suddenly burst out defensively, aggressively. “Just sit in my room and mope?” 

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa’s eyes get wide. He dimly noted that he felt like he was looking at the Oikawa from his childhood. 

“No,” Oikawa whispered. “I guess not.” 

Iwaizumi felt his anger subside as another silence stretched out. Though he hid it much better, his feelings for Oikawa had become a bit twisted too. But that was Oikawa’s fault, not his. 

Iwaizumi used his adrenaline rush to swing himself higher and higher, instead of just swaying slowly. Soon, he was high enough to have a clear view of the rising moon above the treetops of the park. Up so high in the air, in the quiet, in the peace, in the earnestness of night, Iwaizumi saw the future clearly for a brief moment. 

He abruptly stopped his swinging as Oikawa trained his eyes on him to see what the commotion was about. 

Iwaizumi met his gaze, and he felt as if the magnetic force that had held them together had returned for one last moment of relief. 

“We were happy,” Iwaizumi said, surprised by how steady his voice sounded when his throat felt like it had a lump in it. Oikawa nodded. “But we’ll be happy again,” Iwaizumi insisted, looking deep into Oikawa’s eyes, begging for him to understand this fundamental truth that he himself had only believed for just a fraction of a second a moment prior. 

Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa’s face scrunched up and silent tears fell. Iwaizumi opened his mouth to say some words that would make Oikawa feel better in this moment, that would make his tears stop, but nothing came out. When Oikawa looked back up at him, Iwaizumi just gave him a small smile. 

Wordlessly, Iwaizumi stood up and put a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder, squeezing for only a moment before he walked back home in the night. 

On the walk home, Iwaizumi watched as a hundred happy memories he and Oikawa shared played in his head. When he reached his door, he allowed himself a small smile at the beautiful sunrise that was just beginning to bloom in the distance.


End file.
